Friday, November 23, 2007


As I walked in the shopping mall today, trying to change a pair of over-sized jeans, I couldn't help but notice a pair of Sebago Docksides. My gosh, an instant feeling of nostalgia as I walked back into the store that I had just exited from.

Sebagos were the epitome of 'cool kid'. Sebagos were like the cocaine of footwear.. in price that is!

It was a while before I got my first (and only) pair of Sebagos back in 95, wine red 'Classics'. I wore them for church almost every Sunday, with chocolate brown Dickies, brown check shirt and stretch Paris belt.

I was the cool kid for a while, while I could fit into a size seven shoe. I'll never forget the handmade craftsmanship, the smell of the leather, like a brand new car - the smell that never faded.

It's funny how I coveted those shoes until my dad bought me a pair one year. I saw them today and smiled. I can afford them on my own now, but if I were to buy them, I assure you, it would only be to feel like I did back in 95...

Friday, November 16, 2007

What the ...

This being 25 is still rather traumatic for me. I'm a quarter of a century old for goodness sake. I should know by now what I like, I should know by now what I want to achieve. Instead, it seems that I am experiencing life in a rather hap-hazard way. I should accept responsibility and water the freakin' plants right?

When I was in high school and tech, I always told people that I thrived under pressure - that i enjoyed burning the midnight oil and cramming months of notes the morning before the big exam. Looking back, this was and excuse for laziness and flakiness. I'm just a procrastinator - why should I do it now, when I can do it tomorrow instead?

The reason I admit to this is because in recent weeks I've been feeling an over-whelming amount of work related stress and stress related to social engagements. It feels good to express this right now, so bear with me - hopefully I will get to the point soon. The thing is this, most of my youth was spent swatting, seldom preparing sufficiently but managing to get through. However, being and adult is different - life is not like a school test! The experiences are real. It's not about 'John bounces a ball, how big is the cow?' The tests involve peoples feelings, relationships, friendships. The sad part is, that the major development of who we are, who I am today has taken place a while ago. My characters has been moulded in those days when I was swatting for exams and studying late the night before.

I wonder if I can change who I am? Is it too late?

Monday, November 05, 2007

Round is a shape

I'm trying to get in shape. I've got the gym membership, I've got the bicycle, I've got the time, damn it, I've even got the towel and sneakers, but I just don't have the motivation to do it. In the past few weeks, I've gained a quite a bit of 'meat around the edges' and I just about resemble a 'chunky monkey'.

I know that I've got to do something, just reading the mens health magazine doesn't quite cut it. I need those hours in the gym. I need to cycle, run, row, push some iron, eat correctly and kick the m&m's...

Sunday, November 04, 2007

When I grow big...

It's Sunday afternoon. This weekend is almost done. In twelve hours or so, I know I'll be battling to wake up, battling to dispel the sleep from my eyes. Tequila, Mojitos and Caipirinhas.

As I battle to find the performance related problems on my moms PC, I think back on the days of my youth. Particularly, what I wanted to be when I grew up - a scientist. I could not imagine anything more exciting than looking inside cells, cloning sheep name Dolly and ending world hunger. Professor Karrim kind of had a nice way of rolling off the tounge. At age twelve, I had a lab coat and a microscope that I took to school for career day. My speech was quite compelling, I'm sure it produced some actual scientists from that class, though not me.

Funny thing is, I don't exactly remember the point that this dream of mine changed. For a short while, I wanted to be a doctor, then it became following a career in computers - which it is today. I don't know if my vocation today really excites me. I'm not too old to change my mind altogether, start a soya bean farm and end world hunger.