This being 25 is still rather traumatic for me. I'm a quarter of a century old for goodness sake. I should know by now what I like, I should know by now what I want to achieve. Instead, it seems that I am experiencing life in a rather hap-hazard way. I should accept responsibility and water the freakin' plants right?
When I was in high school and tech, I always told people that I thrived under pressure - that i enjoyed burning the midnight oil and cramming months of notes the morning before the big exam. Looking back, this was and excuse for laziness and flakiness. I'm just a procrastinator - why should I do it now, when I can do it tomorrow instead?
The reason I admit to this is because in recent weeks I've been feeling an over-whelming amount of work related stress and stress related to social engagements. It feels good to express this right now, so bear with me - hopefully I will get to the point soon. The thing is this, most of my youth was spent swatting, seldom preparing sufficiently but managing to get through. However, being and adult is different - life is not like a school test! The experiences are real. It's not about 'John bounces a ball, how big is the cow?' The tests involve peoples feelings, relationships, friendships. The sad part is, that the major development of who we are, who I am today has taken place a while ago. My characters has been moulded in those days when I was swatting for exams and studying late the night before.
I wonder if I can change who I am? Is it too late?
1 comment:
Delon,do you really think that your character has been moulded in the days of your youth? I suppose to a degree it is true but I also feel that who we are and who we want to be is a conscious decision we have to make everyday of our lives.
Wake up in the morning,look at yourself in the mirror and say "Today I will not procrastinate,I will do my utmost best in everything i put my hands,heart and mind to." Then you just do it.
I don't think there is anything that is toooo difficult to do when your mind is made up. I once read that a new born babies brain is smooth.And when baby grows up and starts doing things somewhat independently then the depressions on the brain are formed.When someone "changes their mind" about something then the grooves/deppressions change their direction.
So what im trying to say is when you put your mind to it you can CHANGE YOUR GROOVE!!!
~:Lee:~
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