Monday, April 30, 2007

Where Metro Borders Homo

Question posed, can a modern day guy be a metrosexual man, without being ridiculed and called a homosexual? If a man uses a dedicated brand of face cream instead of body lotion, goes to a hair-dresser instead of the barber-shop or knows the difference between aubergine and purple does it imply something about his sexual orientation?

Mens magazines, in fact, advertise and market themselves to encourage male grooming. Anti-ageing face creams, post shaving cream are now more popular than ever before. GQ magazine, May 2007, page 25, shows a man holding a Louis Vuitton satchel (man-bag). Media encourage metrosexaulity yet society distort this an make the poor guy seem gay. A nice frilly shirt is now regarded as a 'man blouse'.

I know that the end of your neck-tie should be midway through your belt-buckle. I know that your tie should be two shades darker than your shirt and that under no circumstances should your socks be white Michael.

Going to enjoy my body massage now...

Perfectly Proportioned Donut Hole

I've been thinking about donuts again, about the caramel topped ones, with the sprinkles on them, the iced ones and the chocolate ones... mmmmm... mouth-watering goodness with all the unhealthy toppings that we've all come to love and expect.

My affinity towards donuts comes from the hole that gives a donut its unique appearance. I want to know if there is any particular size that the circumference of the center hole must be, in proportion the the outer circumference.

If anyone can help, please post a comment.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

shouts to Darren

Congratulations buddy on achieving your BComm Degree. It's a great achievement and you should be very proud. Heres wishing you great success in the future. It's been long and I wish that you now reap the rewards and bennefits

The World Before Technology

Imagine life without the internet, cell phones, computer and instant messaging... Well, imagine no more, all you have to do is remember...

Think back to the 80's and 90's, when cellphones were the size of bricks, computers were IBM gray, monitors had up to four colours and were too expensive and IM existed in the form of 'Win-Popup', if you were fortunate enough to have Windows 95 and not MS-DOS.

Things have changed dramatically and yet most people don't even use most of the applications at their disposal.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Shouts to my homies from Durban

Shouts to Klonks - He know the score to the Man game, 3-2! Go Klonks.
Shouts to Waseem ,he knows how to program and he has a nice office and his boss is lazy. Good thing lazy boss is resigning.

Monday, April 23, 2007


Has anyone ever got to work on a Monday morning and said, "Geez, that weekend was too long. I wish I could've come back yesterday morning"?

If yes, then that person suffers with 'over-enthusiasmness' - a sad and debilitating disease which leads to premature hair loss, greying, aging, extreme caffeine addiction, and irritable-bowel syndrome.

Watch out for these symptoms. Over-enthusiasmness is treatable and curable.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Dynamic Young Individual

What exactly do employment agencies mean when they require a "Dynamic Young Individual" for a certain job offer? What causes confusion for me is the term dynamic. Dynamic is defined as (according to 1) "Characterized by continuous change, activity, or progress" and 2) "Possessing, exerting, or displaying energy" among others.
So my findings are such, that a young guy or girl must be a bit off the rockers, bounce off the walls but must progress... I think...! I'm gona try it out and see what happens.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Cloning And Gene Splitting for Dummies

Just an idea of a book I want to write - 'Cloning And Gene Splitting for Dummies'

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

MCS and OCS - yet another random thought

Do Middle Child - and Only Child Syndrome really exist? Do older siblings often get the greater amount of love and affection? Do middle children really have to bite the ears of their younger brothers and sisters for some attention? Do middle children really care?

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Youth - Revisited

Ok, I'm safely back in Joburg since Saturday already. I've kept on forgetting to make this post, maybe even putting it off. I started a new job yesterday and so far, so good.

Being in Durban gave me a chance to re-awaken my youth, to rejuvinate my spirit. I saw many old friends, enjoying life, living recklessly and irresponsibly; just as a 20-something year old should. I looked and compared myself to my mates and realised how I've matured, how I've lost touch with my youth. Like everyone in Joburg, work becomes an obsession, a distractintion, a neccessary evil (right now I'm at the office, typing over my new IBM T60 (hehehe)). I can't imagine going out on a Thursday night anymore, yet my friend Clyde did it - with no regrets. He played vast amounts of house music, in fact, only house music while we were in his car. He drove without a seatbelt and encouraged me to do the same, something I haven't done in ages. It felt great... as the bass pumped out of his single sub-woofer in his VW Golf 'Velo'!

House music, bass, some beers, we went to a pool hall with Karaoke! I ended-up humming to some slim Shady track I don't recall.

Oh ja, not to forget the vast amounts of slang we through around.
'Ekse bra, I'm at the pozie, kla dressed, waiting for you to pick me up. Gaai me a missed call when you almost here. Lukker'

All in all, Durban was great. I had a chance to let my hair down and realise that I'm still a kid at heart.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

One Last Word Before I Go

Tomorrow I leave in search of redemption, a lost innocence, inspiration, happiness and fulfilment . Incense will burn as virgin maids dance, sing and chant my name and wish me well on my voyage. This is not the journey foretold about monkeys and kung-fu, but a time out in search of peace, balance and the understanding of this life we have in this vessel that is our body, with breath, a heart beat and a soul. I feel as if I've been divided my zero, so some time out would be nice.

Watch this s p a c e !

Desparate Times - Trying to make a mil

I need some cash! I've decided to sell some things that are of sentimental and a cash value to me. They will be auctioned to the highest bidder or sold for fair price. The items are:

  • Abrown leather, Italian wallet (made in china) containing R82.55 and various receipts
  • A Samsung D500 cell phone battery
  • A Norton Internet Security 2005 CD + Expired License key
  • A wet wipe (in silver packaging) and brown sugar from News Cafe (both have never been used)
  • A single golf sock
  • A leather bound diary from 2006 - never used, good condition
  • A stone from a copper mine in Zambia

These items have a great history and also some amazing stories behind them. I will accept all email offers and will try to place them on an online auction type store.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Good Friday and Pickled Fish

In respect of the crusifiction of our Christ and keeping with tradition, on this Friday past, many families ate fish and seafood. We were lucky enough (as we are every year) to have had pickled fish - hake with pickling things, like onions and vinegar.

So we ate well on Friday, went to my cousins place and had prawns, calamari rings, line fish, and more pickled fish. We had left-overs on Saturday, but by then, flatulence had caught up. Not a single soul who ate fish could say that he or she did not FART! I'm talking crazy amounts of fishy, smelly gas, with a hint of onion flavour. It was terrible. Everyone was in denial, but we all know that "The one who denied it fried it"

Night at the Drags

I went to the legal drags on Wednesday night, well, only legal to the point of it being regulated. The entire experience was awesome, the cars, the bikes, the crowds of people, donuts, drifting and racing. It's a Wednesday night gathering of cult proportion. A frenzy of people cheering and screaming for who they believe will emerge the victor or the favourite to melt his engine in the BMW donuts.

For the first time I saw with my own eyes how a guy spins a car, gets out of it and stands away from it, while it continues to spin in a precise, controlled motion, making the donut shapes on the floor as tires melt and screech as the rubber disintegrates. He then jumps back into the car through the sun-roof, into the back seat, out the rear door, then back into the drivers seat. Crowd goes wild!

It was quite an exilerating experience - even though I did not partake in any activity myself.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Police and Donuts

I'm sure its just a stereotype that police enojoy donuts. I've never actually seen a local police person eat a donut, though I have seen them scoffing down a Nandos' half-chicken meal. Although donuts are easily available from Pick n Pay or Checkers-Hyper, it's probably too time consuming to get out and buy some (from the po-po's point of view). It's much more satisfying harrasing innocent old ladies into buying them some Nandos for driving in the yellow line instead.

I'm gona keep my eyes open and look out for the po-po either eating or buying donuts. I'm not gona dedicate my life to following this cause, though I think it will become an interesting pasttime.