Here are the rules
Rule 1: Don't be fancy - use orthodox bowling technique
My brother Ryan lost because he was trying to be too fancy. He had combed his hair into a little Mohawk and he was trying to impress the ladies in the next lane. He lost!
You may ask, "What is the orthodox bowling technique?"
It's the technique that I use! I learned it watching '70s style comedies.
Rule 2: Become one with your lane
A simple self explanatory rule. I learned this one from an episode of "The Simpsons" where Marge was considering an affair with a pro-bowler.
Know how you lane pulls your ball left or right, so when you bowl you can compensate for this. My girlfriend Mummy did not follow this rule and her balls ended up in the gutters (but not as often as Ryan's - go baby)
Rule 3: Don't let the celebrities of local sports shows and his entourage distract you
Kerwin's game went from A to J. It was the ladies in the adjacent lane. Don't get fooled - just don't look!
Rule 4: Keep confident.
This rule is one I took from a "Shield" antiperspirant ad. Bowling is a psychological game. Mess with the minds of your competitors. My girlfriend thought that I jinxed her. This lowered her confidence and allowed me to win easily with four strikes.
Rule 5: Play with a ball that fits you nicely
As Kerwin discovered, your technique is nothing if your thumb cannot be promptly released from the ball. One of two things can happen in this situation - both involving Newtons laws of motions. Your thumb goes with the ball, so does the rest of your body - or your thumbs snaps off as in a horror move would portray.
Ok, so those are my rules, which probably will not work. I've only ever used them once and they are also very dependant on whether there is a local sports prsenter with an entourage in the adjacent lane.
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