Sebagos

As I walked in the shopping mall today, trying to change a pair of over-sized jeans, I couldn't help but notice a pair of Sebago Docksides. My gosh, an instant feeling of nostalgia as I walked back into the store that I had just exited from.

Sebagos were the epitome of 'cool kid'. Sebagos were like the cocaine of footwear.. in price that is!

It was a while before I got my first (and only) pair of Sebagos back in 95, wine red 'Classics'. I wore them for church almost every Sunday, with chocolate brown Dickies, brown check shirt and stretch Paris belt.

I was the cool kid for a while, while I could fit into a size seven shoe. I'll never forget the handmade craftsmanship, the smell of the leather, like a brand new car - the smell that never faded.

It's funny how I coveted those shoes until my dad bought me a pair one year. I saw them today and smiled. I can afford them on my own now, but if I were to buy them, I assure you, it would only be to feel like I did back in 95...

What the ...

This being 25 is still rather traumatic for me. I'm a quarter of a century old for goodness sake. I should know by now what I like, I should know by now what I want to achieve. Instead, it seems that I am experiencing life in a rather hap-hazard way. I should accept responsibility and water the freakin' plants right?

When I was in high school and tech, I always told people that I thrived under pressure - that i enjoyed burning the midnight oil and cramming months of notes the morning before the big exam. Looking back, this was and excuse for laziness and flakiness. I'm just a procrastinator - why should I do it now, when I can do it tomorrow instead?

The reason I admit to this is because in recent weeks I've been feeling an over-whelming amount of work related stress and stress related to social engagements. It feels good to express this right now, so bear with me - hopefully I will get to the point soon. The thing is this, most of my youth was spent swatting, seldom preparing sufficiently but managing to get through. However, being and adult is different - life is not like a school test! The experiences are real. It's not about 'John bounces a ball, how big is the cow?' The tests involve peoples feelings, relationships, friendships. The sad part is, that the major development of who we are, who I am today has taken place a while ago. My characters has been moulded in those days when I was swatting for exams and studying late the night before.

I wonder if I can change who I am? Is it too late?

Round is a shape

I'm trying to get in shape. I've got the gym membership, I've got the bicycle, I've got the time, damn it, I've even got the towel and sneakers, but I just don't have the motivation to do it. In the past few weeks, I've gained a quite a bit of 'meat around the edges' and I just about resemble a 'chunky monkey'.

I know that I've got to do something, just reading the mens health magazine doesn't quite cut it. I need those hours in the gym. I need to cycle, run, row, push some iron, eat correctly and kick the m&m's...

When I grow big...

It's Sunday afternoon. This weekend is almost done. In twelve hours or so, I know I'll be battling to wake up, battling to dispel the sleep from my eyes. Tequila, Mojitos and Caipirinhas.

As I battle to find the performance related problems on my moms PC, I think back on the days of my youth. Particularly, what I wanted to be when I grew up - a scientist. I could not imagine anything more exciting than looking inside cells, cloning sheep name Dolly and ending world hunger. Professor Karrim kind of had a nice way of rolling off the tounge. At age twelve, I had a lab coat and a microscope that I took to school for career day. My speech was quite compelling, I'm sure it produced some actual scientists from that class, though not me.

Funny thing is, I don't exactly remember the point that this dream of mine changed. For a short while, I wanted to be a doctor, then it became following a career in computers - which it is today. I don't know if my vocation today really excites me. I'm not too old to change my mind altogether, start a soya bean farm and end world hunger.

my unpopular jersey

As I drove this morning in traffic, something made me remember an unpopular jersey I used to wear in high-school. Unpopular for reasons I could not fathom.

The jersey was in fact a maroon Izod Lacoste cardigan. It had belonged to my great-grandmother; though it was a mens cardigan (she was a bigger than average individual). My friends hated this jersey, I don't know if it was because it had no shape on me, or because of the over-sized buttons or because of it's colour. Perhaps they were jealous of my almost original jersey... I still wonder.

My grandmother still has that jersey in my wardrobe. I'm willing to sell it to those who are willing to make an offer for it. The unpopularity will follow :)

Is TV worth watching?

TV is not as it was several years ago. Remember the shows that would get the whole family into the living room between 7 and 8 pm? Remember the shows such as The A-Team, Airwolf, Major Dad, MacGyver and Telefun-Quiz?

South African broadcasters have lost the quality of its international content. Perhaps the revenue they generate is not enough for good, entertaining programming. Local TV is seriously suffering due to a lack imagination and creativity especially in the Reality TV genre. There are no new concepts it seems, which will bring the viewers coming back for more.

The first season of a local ‘rip off’ show seems to do relatively well – look at Survivor South Africa, Big Brother South Africa and The Apprentice – all did relatively well in the first season.

Series’ such as Lost, Desperate Housewives and Greys Anatomy all seem to do well, so much so that SABC is now airing the first season of Desperate Housewives as their rivals MNET did some years before them.

Locally produced documentaries, 3rd degree, Carte Blanche and Special Assignment, are worth watching - our investigative journalism still pulls in the few that are dedicated to local content.

I see a great opportunity for those adventurous enough to give us some new Reality TV, some new soapies and some new talk shows – locally ‘manufactured’ of course.

New Shoe Syndrome

got a new pair of shoes the other day - black work shoes. wearing them made me feel so good about myself. it's an awesome feeling wearing a new pair of shoes for the first time. the way you walk, so as not to get the shoes all creased and you walk to try to preserve the sole...

Bachelor

I’ve moved into my own place about two weeks ago – the bachelor life has finally begun for me. Initially, I was apprehensive – not knowing what to expect, the possible responsibility (switching the lights off, not forgetting the bath water running), fear, uncertainty and doubt. To be honest though, it’s one of the most exciting things I’ve done. It’s awesome being in a space that’s entirely my own. I’ve tried my hand at the cooking thing and surprisingly, it’s working out fine for me so far. Shopping for groceries is exciting but shopping for consumer electronics – even more so (Any excuse to by the new Sony LCD)!

In my stay alone so far, I see that food is expensive, that cooking involves more time and effort that I actually thought.

Snooze Syndrome

Funny how easy it is to form a bad habit. I have a terrible habit, waking up in the morning, only to snooze my cell phone or alarm clock until the last second and normally until it's too late. I know for certain that I'm not the only one who suffers with this. It takes 7 days to develop a bad habit they say, 21 days to break it. I need to actively apply myself to breaking this... Looking for tips...

In Search Of Self - 404 error self not found

I don't know what it is, I don't know how to handle it. There are somethings about myself that I've recently learned and some other things that I have not yet discovered.

I haven't found myself, I don't know who I am. I'm not comfortable around myself. Sometimes I even feel trapped inside my own mind. It's really very weird. One would think that in 25 years, I'd be OK with who I am - well, not yet.

I've had my own place for four months now and yet I still haven't moved out - kinda like the guy in the movie "Failure to Launch". I know that if I am on my own, I will have to deal with and come to terms with myself.

At some other stage in my life, back when I was at tech, I was completely fine with my being. I was confident and people could tell. As I grew, I thought that so would my confidence - but it hasn't. As we age, some events occur that so brutally dent our confidence, build and restructure our character traits and change our personalities. These events either make us stronger or make us weaker - but whatever they do, they teach us a little more about ourselves.

I don't know what it is, I don't know how to handle it, but I feel that I haven't quite come to terms with who I am just yet...

People Know People

Ever noticed how when you're in need of a service, someone you know always happens to know someone who can help?

Example - I need to service my car, I tell Waseem, Waseem tells me he has an uncle named Ivan who can hook me up for half the price that the registered mechanics can do the job for. Or if I'm shopping for a TV, John tells me that he has a cousin who once worked for a shop where he still has a contact that can get cost price on said TV.

I don't know many people in the business of acquiring things - legally or otherwise. My point is just that if you ask around, you're bound to get someone who can hook with what you're looking for, for a little cheaper than at the shops.

Train The Brain

I want to stop my brain from becoming lazy, but how do I do it? Do I read more, shall I study wikipedia? I've decided to start increasing my dexterity by improving the use of my right brain. At this moment, it simply involves using my left hand more often, more mouse clicking, more left handed cell phone usage.

When Last

When last have you sat to watch the rain as it falls? When last have you taken a moment to smell a flower and appreciate it or even chase a butterfly? When last have you danced carelessly in the rain? When last did you pick a wild flower from the garden? When last did hop as you walked? When last did you skip with a rope? When last did you make a cardboard house? When last have you been absolutely free, uninhibited by your the opinions of others, uninhibited by your opinions of yourself? When you you last live, last kiss, last love?

Working

So here I am, working at one of our bigger clients. It's more like I'm keeping the client company though.

The Secret

Recently, my mom introduced me to a book called 'The Secret'. I'm not normally into the Depak Chopra type reads, but this teaches the philosophy of positive thinking, combined with the universal law of attraction. My problem was, until now, that I like to see tangible evidence of these philosophies and 'unproven' sciences. I got to reading it and it seems quite interesting. It teaches how 'things' are attracted to those who desire them... Sounds strange, I know, but credible people have all testified to it's efficacy. I gona give it a try.

Decision

Due to an abundant number of comments and emails relating to my previous post (two in total) - I will no longer be resigning from blogging.

The Rumours

The rumors are that I am dead, that I spontaneously combusted and my ashes were swept under the carpet. To all those who have been sending emails, wondering if this was true, I assure you, it's not.

The liver transplant was not successful. The bovine liver which was destined for me was rejected by my body. My health worsened and... forget it... I'm deleting this blog...

Indoor Cycling

I impulsively purchased an indoor cycling trainer yesterday. It's been a while since I rode my bike and I've really missed it. Now thats it's winter, it makes good sense getting one. Check out my pictures.

Cheap Puffy Chips

One of those days, feeling nostalgic, wishing for the chips that the old lady would sell to us, from outside the school, through the wire fences. The chips we all know, which were sometimes brown, sometimes red, but most often, bright orange. These chips contained too much preservatives and tartrazine and would make us a little 'weird' after eating them at break. The same lady would sometimes sell toffee-apples and sweets that were too high in unnatural sugars, the kind of sweets which induce addiction, yet we were still to young to notice. The sour sweets that were available on Tuesdays, helped develop the first of many recurring ulcers in many children, not forgetting the premature ageing and slight balding.

Altogether though, we were much more liberal in our eating habits than what we are now. We didn't get fat... our metabolism would just not allow that.

Furnishing Begins

Saturday saw the arrival of my first items for my flat/town house - my couches. The bed was also delivered, but I had to send it back because the base of the bed couldn't fit into the room.

Liberated Soul

Ever walk in shopping mall and felt like nothing could take away your good mood? Ever wander down the office corridors, without a care in the world, feeling free, happy and liberated? As you walk people look at you and think, "Why the hell is he so darn jolly?" Today, I had an extra bit of silly grin on my face, an extra bit of taste-for-life. Yesterday, saw me feeling kinda sad, kinda emotional, but today, I swept that sadness away, looked out the window and smiled! I feel liberated! It's no use wasting precious earth-minutes being sad,live life and experience it.

granny of the electonic age

i was so very surprised to receive an email from my grand-mother, the mother of my mother. again, let me mention that this is an email from my granny, a woman who has never before used a computer, a women who watched movies at a place called the 'bioscope' and had to watch tv in black and white. shes 70 something years old and i think that it's amazing that she's getting with the times.

76% Nerd

I took a test that I stumbled upon and it confirms that I'm a partial nerd. You can take the test yourself at www.nerdtests.com. My results were as follows:

Overall, you scored as follows:

23% scored higher (more nerdy),
1% scored the same, and
76% scored lower (less nerdy).

What does this mean? Your nerdiness is:

Mid-Level Nerd. Wow, it takes a lot of hard nerdy practice to reach this level.

Retraction - Save The Ozone - Eat A Cow

Due to an anonymous comment posted in response to 'Save The Ozone - Eat a Cow' I formally retract that post. Vegetarians, Vegans, Hindus and Buddhists are upset and I would like to stabilise the balance that once was.

cool sneaks

How cool are these sneakers? I wouldn't really mind the Goofey (non pun intended) ones.

Black Pants Phenomenon

Are black pants like magnets that attract every little piece of white lint, fluff and dust in the universe? More specifically, is this a characteristic only of my black pants? In a shop, black pants never seem to have lint, fluff or dust stuck to them. So, is it only in my wardrobe that dust exists? How do I reverse the polarity of my pants to make them repel dust?

Save the Ozone - Eat a Cow

Fact, cows fart methane. Fact, methane is a contributor to global warming. My solution, eat more cows. If we had the vegetarians, vegans, Buddhists and Hindus of the world on our side, we would be able to reduce lethal methane emissions.

Converging Products

Fridges that have a TV in their doors have been around for some time now. It's really weird that manufactures have integrated these two things. Ideas like these, I believe were conceived by Dilbert and his fellow engineers. I have been thinking, trying to see what other completely useless ideas I could come up with for manufactures to develop.

Computers with a built in braai (I love to surf the internet while braai-ing)
Shoes with a built in polisher and shiner
A bicycle with a water cooler
A toilet with a submerged LCD screen

About Me

I love life. I enjoy the outdoors, the feeling of being free, the smell of the grass after it's just been cut. I love waking up to fresh brewed coffee, the sound of birds as they fight for food. I like the sound of rain as it falls during a thunder storm. I like to look out the window and breathe mist and draw little shapes on it. I don't really like to sing in the shower, I like to hum and whistle though. I like to dip peanut butter and jam sandwiches into my coffee. I like hot chocolate on cold days, warm socks and blankets while watching movies with no story line. I wake up to the sounds of 5fm every morning and fall asleep when my eyes can't stay open any longer. I don't like the busy, morning, Johannesburg traffic, so I listen to music to soothe me. I like to wear sneakers on weekends, shorts and sweaters. I like my hair short, but I used to have an afro. I laugh and smile and cry sometimes. I like to write my own random musings sometimes and read those of others often.

Fever Blisters

In three weeks, I woke up with my fourth fever blister...

Funny Pepsi Ad

Perfectly Proportioned Donut Hole - A reply

I sent an email off to a Statistics lecturer. He was helpful in letting me know that I was completely off track...


Original Letter:

Hi Lecturer

I wonder if you could point me in the right direction please...

I've been trying to find some information relating to donuts on the internet and particularly the mathworld.wolfram.com website. My question is this, "Is there a perfect proportion between inner and outer donut circumferences?" I found information regarding the torus at http://mathworld.wolfram.com/Torus.html but nothing on in relating to what I search for... I think.

I know that this is a geometry type question, but I hope that you can help in some small way.


Reply:

I’m not aware of any ideas of “perfection” relating to tori. There has been a lot of work (both mathematical, psychological and artistic) on the aesthetic preference for geometric figures divided according to the “golden ratio”. I’m not sure if this ratio has any influence in respect to tori. Certainly there are aspects of topology that distinguish different tori according to the difference in proportion of the circumferences that you mention but that isn’t my area at all! I wonder what a doughnut with a golden ratio of the outer to inner circumefrence would look like? My feeling is that it would probably be quite fat. Not sure. Maybe read up on the golden ratio (or Google both) and see what you find!

Lecturer

Hectic Social Life

Already a new month, already almost halfway through the year. Oh boy, time flies...

Of late, I've found my social life steadily increasing. It's been great going out, staying out late and sometimes, even on work nights. Cocktails, shooters and wine, toasts, celebrations! Things are not as hectic as they were during the time that I was 18 or and at tech, but way better than a few months ago. Even though winter is looming, we still find time and opportunity to go out and have us a good time...

Where Metro Borders Homo

Question posed, can a modern day guy be a metrosexual man, without being ridiculed and called a homosexual? If a man uses a dedicated brand of face cream instead of body lotion, goes to a hair-dresser instead of the barber-shop or knows the difference between aubergine and purple does it imply something about his sexual orientation?

Mens magazines, in fact, advertise and market themselves to encourage male grooming. Anti-ageing face creams, post shaving cream are now more popular than ever before. GQ magazine, May 2007, page 25, shows a man holding a Louis Vuitton satchel (man-bag). Media encourage metrosexaulity yet society distort this an make the poor guy seem gay. A nice frilly shirt is now regarded as a 'man blouse'.

I know that the end of your neck-tie should be midway through your belt-buckle. I know that your tie should be two shades darker than your shirt and that under no circumstances should your socks be white Michael.

Going to enjoy my body massage now...

Perfectly Proportioned Donut Hole

I've been thinking about donuts again, about the caramel topped ones, with the sprinkles on them, the iced ones and the chocolate ones... mmmmm... mouth-watering goodness with all the unhealthy toppings that we've all come to love and expect.

My affinity towards donuts comes from the hole that gives a donut its unique appearance. I want to know if there is any particular size that the circumference of the center hole must be, in proportion the the outer circumference.

If anyone can help, please post a comment.

shouts to Darren

Congratulations buddy on achieving your BComm Degree. It's a great achievement and you should be very proud. Heres wishing you great success in the future. It's been long and I wish that you now reap the rewards and bennefits

The World Before Technology

Imagine life without the internet, cell phones, computer and instant messaging... Well, imagine no more, all you have to do is remember...

Think back to the 80's and 90's, when cellphones were the size of bricks, computers were IBM gray, monitors had up to four colours and were too expensive and IM existed in the form of 'Win-Popup', if you were fortunate enough to have Windows 95 and not MS-DOS.

Things have changed dramatically and yet most people don't even use most of the applications at their disposal.

Shouts to my homies from Durban

Shouts to Klonks - He know the score to the Man game, 3-2! Go Klonks.
Shouts to Waseem ,he knows how to program and he has a nice office and his boss is lazy. Good thing lazy boss is resigning.

Over-enthusiasmness

Has anyone ever got to work on a Monday morning and said, "Geez, that weekend was too long. I wish I could've come back yesterday morning"?

If yes, then that person suffers with 'over-enthusiasmness' - a sad and debilitating disease which leads to premature hair loss, greying, aging, extreme caffeine addiction, and irritable-bowel syndrome.

Watch out for these symptoms. Over-enthusiasmness is treatable and curable.

Dynamic Young Individual

What exactly do employment agencies mean when they require a "Dynamic Young Individual" for a certain job offer? What causes confusion for me is the term dynamic. Dynamic is defined as (according to www.answers.com) 1) "Characterized by continuous change, activity, or progress" and 2) "Possessing, exerting, or displaying energy" among others.
So my findings are such, that a young guy or girl must be a bit off the rockers, bounce off the walls but must progress... I think...! I'm gona try it out and see what happens.

Cloning And Gene Splitting for Dummies

Just an idea of a book I want to write - 'Cloning And Gene Splitting for Dummies'

MCS and OCS - yet another random thought

Do Middle Child - and Only Child Syndrome really exist? Do older siblings often get the greater amount of love and affection? Do middle children really have to bite the ears of their younger brothers and sisters for some attention? Do middle children really care?

Youth - Revisited

Ok, I'm safely back in Joburg since Saturday already. I've kept on forgetting to make this post, maybe even putting it off. I started a new job yesterday and so far, so good.

Being in Durban gave me a chance to re-awaken my youth, to rejuvinate my spirit. I saw many old friends, enjoying life, living recklessly and irresponsibly; just as a 20-something year old should. I looked and compared myself to my mates and realised how I've matured, how I've lost touch with my youth. Like everyone in Joburg, work becomes an obsession, a distractintion, a neccessary evil (right now I'm at the office, typing over my new IBM T60 (hehehe)). I can't imagine going out on a Thursday night anymore, yet my friend Clyde did it - with no regrets. He played vast amounts of house music, in fact, only house music while we were in his car. He drove without a seatbelt and encouraged me to do the same, something I haven't done in ages. It felt great... as the bass pumped out of his single sub-woofer in his VW Golf 'Velo'!

House music, bass, some beers, we went to a pool hall with Karaoke! I ended-up humming to some slim Shady track I don't recall.

Oh ja, not to forget the vast amounts of slang we through around.
'Ekse bra, I'm at the pozie, kla dressed, waiting for you to pick me up. Gaai me a missed call when you almost here. Lukker'

All in all, Durban was great. I had a chance to let my hair down and realise that I'm still a kid at heart.

One Last Word Before I Go

Tomorrow I leave in search of redemption, a lost innocence, inspiration, happiness and fulfilment . Incense will burn as virgin maids dance, sing and chant my name and wish me well on my voyage. This is not the journey foretold about monkeys and kung-fu, but a time out in search of peace, balance and the understanding of this life we have in this vessel that is our body, with breath, a heart beat and a soul. I feel as if I've been divided my zero, so some time out would be nice.

Watch this s p a c e !

Desparate Times - Trying to make a mil

I need some cash! I've decided to sell some things that are of sentimental and a cash value to me. They will be auctioned to the highest bidder or sold for fair price. The items are:

• Abrown leather, Italian wallet (made in china) containing R82.55 and various receipts
• A Samsung D500 cell phone battery
• A Norton Internet Security 2005 CD + Expired License key
• A wet wipe (in silver packaging) and brown sugar from News Cafe (both have never been used)
• A single golf sock
• A leather bound diary from 2006 - never used, good condition
• A stone from a copper mine in Zambia

These items have a great history and also some amazing stories behind them. I will accept all email offers and will try to place them on an online auction type store.

Good Friday and Pickled Fish

In respect of the crusifiction of our Christ and keeping with tradition, on this Friday past, many families ate fish and seafood. We were lucky enough (as we are every year) to have had pickled fish - hake with pickling things, like onions and vinegar.

So we ate well on Friday, went to my cousins place and had prawns, calamari rings, line fish, and more pickled fish. We had left-overs on Saturday, but by then, flatulence had caught up. Not a single soul who ate fish could say that he or she did not FART! I'm talking crazy amounts of fishy, smelly gas, with a hint of onion flavour. It was terrible. Everyone was in denial, but we all know that "The one who denied it fried it"

Night at the Drags

I went to the legal drags on Wednesday night, well, only legal to the point of it being regulated. The entire experience was awesome, the cars, the bikes, the crowds of people, donuts, drifting and racing. It's a Wednesday night gathering of cult proportion. A frenzy of people cheering and screaming for who they believe will emerge the victor or the favourite to melt his engine in the BMW donuts.

For the first time I saw with my own eyes how a guy spins a car, gets out of it and stands away from it, while it continues to spin in a precise, controlled motion, making the donut shapes on the floor as tires melt and screech as the rubber disintegrates. He then jumps back into the car through the sun-roof, into the back seat, out the rear door, then back into the drivers seat. Crowd goes wild!

It was quite an exilerating experience - even though I did not partake in any activity myself.

Police and Donuts

I'm sure its just a stereotype that police enojoy donuts. I've never actually seen a local police person eat a donut, though I have seen them scoffing down a Nandos' half-chicken meal. Although donuts are easily available from Pick n Pay or Checkers-Hyper, it's probably too time consuming to get out and buy some (from the po-po's point of view). It's much more satisfying harrasing innocent old ladies into buying them some Nandos for driving in the yellow line instead.

I'm gona keep my eyes open and look out for the po-po either eating or buying donuts. I'm not gona dedicate my life to following this cause, though I think it will become an interesting pasttime.

Making money on the internet

I've read numerous articles about making money on the internet. A wise guy (not to be confused with a made guy) comes up with some new idea to make a stack of cash, buy selling pixels on a website and becomes a millionaire overnight or something else ridiculous. I think that it's my inablity to think outside the 'proverbial box' that limits my wealth (considering the pixel idea ridiculous).

So, I'm open to suggestions on how to become an internet millionaire. Is there some generic code that I can copy and paste then upload and manage to draw countless people to buy my invisibiluty potion or what ever I have to sell? Perhaps I'll sell my profound knowledge of google to some internet addict not willing to learn the tricks himself. How do I do it? How do I manage to pull it off and complent my income? What idea, technique, method or secret works specifically for the South African waiting to become the next rich kid on the block?

There's lots of books on making money on the internet by clever marketing but nothing specific to South Africa. South Africans are not such liberal spenders as their North American or European counterparts. They are all so afraid of marketing a buiness on the internet. Look at Kalahari.net (not a programming language) or Bid or Buy for example. Half the time you never get what you want. So in that case I just order from Amazon.com or Ebay making several Americans wealthier.

So, patiently I wait for the idea to present itself to my minds eye - the money maker.

Fighting the Proxy

It seems that when I'm not battling with Google to get a better page ranking, then its my companies proxy servers that I'm battling with. I think the guys that administer the network here are afraid of Firefox. I installed an addon called foxyproxy to allow me to change and fine tune my internet access. It's working but it's given me grief since 9 am.

Thinking too much

As a youth, I always thought that I thought too much. I wanted to grow up to become a thinker, a philosopher. I had great dreams of being paid vast sums of money for my opinion and my thoughts. I thought that my ideas were so extraordinary that i could become an academic. Unfortuantely for me however, I soon realised that there were people smarter than me... much smarter than me. I abandonned my dream of philosophy to persue a career in Information Technology instead. Now, as a 'normal' citizen of society, I search for fullfilment in my career. My job is rewarding, but I'm still in search for an extradordinary idea that will change the lives of the others.

Time for coffee...

Panic at the Music Store

I was recently at the music store. After moving from the Rap section, I entered the Rock section only to find that what I was looking for, doesn't exist in the rock section, but in the Alternative section. I wondered why this was - I sincerely thought that "Foo Fighters" and "The Killers" would be classified as rock. Goes to show how little I know.

Arch Nemesis

In the underworld of blogging and the fame that follows, my high priest Waseem has started his blog. My converts are now becoming his. He learned the internet well, but is now passing this information onto them - at no charge!

Do not make this a competition Mr. Sinister... for I know where you once ate your lunch! I link Ever Great!

Driving to Durban

As all South Africans know, the drive to Durban from Johannesburg is around 600 km long. I drove down to see my grandparents after work on Friday, arrived at 01h30 on Saturday morning and returned late on Sunday night.

I was thrilled to be back home, I hadnt seen the old folks in a while. I was not able to contain myself at all... not that I cried, but it was a feeling of utter happiness - like the dancing penguin in Happy Feet, yeah, thats how I felt.

I saw my dad, cousins and aunts. I 'met up' with some friends who had dropped out of touch. We laughed and sat around on power boxes and leaned against street poles.

Pictures to follow...

Tips to a better bowling game

After a great and awesome bowling victory, I thought that I would publish my tips on how to beat others at bowling. As my loyal readers know, I am a cyclist by heart. I haven't ridden for a while now though, but anyways, thats beside the point.

Here are the rules

Rule 1: Don't be fancy - use orthodox bowling technique

My brother Ryan lost because he was trying to be too fancy. He had combed his hair into a little Mohawk and he was trying to impress the ladies in the next lane. He lost!

You may ask, "What is the orthodox bowling technique?"

It's the technique that I use! I learned it watching '70s style comedies.

Rule 2: Become one with your lane

A simple self explanatory rule. I learned this one from an episode of "The Simpsons" where Marge was considering an affair with a pro-bowler.

Know how you lane pulls your ball left or right, so when you bowl you can compensate for this. My girlfriend Mummy did not follow this rule and her balls ended up in the gutters (but not as often as Ryan's - go baby)

Rule 3: Don't let the celebrities of local sports shows and his entourage distract you

Kerwin's game went from A to J. It was the ladies in the adjacent lane. Don't get fooled - just don't look!

Rule 4: Keep confident.

This rule is one I took from a "Shield" antiperspirant ad. Bowling is a psychological game. Mess with the minds of your competitors. My girlfriend thought that I jinxed her. This lowered her confidence and allowed me to win easily with four strikes.

Rule 5: Play with a ball that fits you nicely

As Kerwin discovered, your technique is nothing if your thumb cannot be promptly released from the ball. One of two things can happen in this situation - both involving Newtons laws of motions. Your thumb goes with the ball, so does the rest of your body - or your thumbs snaps off as in a horror move would portray.

Ok, so those are my rules, which probably will not work. I've only ever used them once and they are also very dependant on whether there is a local sports prsenter with an entourage in the adjacent lane.

Being less than the poop under a shoe

Ever imagined what it would feel like to be less than the poop under a shoe? Well, I have imagined that what it would feel like. Today is such a day. Two weeks ago to the day, I resigned from my 'new' job at Dimension Data. I have a two week notice period, so, this is the day that I am due to leave. Funny however, that in this two week period, I have become as popular as haemoroids (or hemorrhoids). People don't socially engage me, just to chat. Occasionally there will be the morning greeting, but mostly out of guilt.

I'm waiting now for the exit interview, which I requested via mail some days ago. However, it hasn't happend yet or even been acknowledged, I mean, why would 'poop' request a meeting?

Well, thats just my feeling, at least I still have my.... um... ability to transform myself into different shapes and colours depending on the situation and my ability to transcend to alternate areas plains of existence at will.

Can't wait to get home.

Words to sweep the ladies off their feet

The Rosetta Stone for some of the sexiest things to say, to get a lady to notice you

My girlfriend hooked me up with these pickup lines that are very well know in Soweto and apparently also generally very successful. So, to impress the ladies, you don't need a shiny medallion and chest hair. Just use these lines...

While talking to the lady of your choice, include these words:

Thambo lam' le Kentucky - my Kentucky bone

Ngiya qwala ngawe - With you I get full

Sumbrela sam' se langa - My umbrella for the sun

Ngik'thanda nom'uvhutha baby - I love you even when you are in flames baby

S'tofu sam' sama lahle - my coal stove

Ku chitekha ama dus'bini - Dust bins just fall by themselves (in your presence)

Shumi lam' (my 1 Rand)

Dudlu Dwadla - a phrase used to get the attention of a chubby, sexy lady...

Slender never gets tired, tired by mistake, mistake by people, people with jelasi (just a saying, not to sure what context this is used in)

Scotch never die - The ladies retort if a guy is wearing a check shirt, girls will tease him by saying this!

So, hope this helps...

Things in progress

I started reading Hitlers Mein Kampf last night. I didn't get very far, though it's a start. I want to understand why he thought it smart to persecute and entire race of people. On this list of my current reads, goes A long Walk to Freedom, by Nelson Mandela as well. These are the serious books, as well as a whole lot of Bicycling mags and a stack of various study manuals.

I've also being considering completing my BTech this year. I've been asking around for information as to how this can be done. However, it will only be in June that I can make a start.

I called my father last week to express my excitement at buying my own house. In his heart, I'm sure he was happy for me, but it wasn't the type of excitement that one would expect from a father. I wasn't too disappointed, but was kinda hoping that he would be a little more proud.

Restoring Sanity

I wish that life would be as simple as we’ve all become accustomed to. I wish that we could highlight a situation, right click, cut - and the problem would go away. On pay day, we would simply highlight our pay-slip and use the ‘make bigger’ function.

Sanity could easily be restored in a hectic office with the ‘Restore Sanity, or ‘Make My Boss Disappear’ button function.

Come to think of it, this would be similar to the movie click. I didn’t watch it, but from the previews I’ve seen, I imagine it to be quite similar to Restore Sanity function I wish I had!

Ranting and Raving

It is indeed a cruel world! Firslty, I had to use internet explorer to log in to my blog today. Normally I use Firefox 2.0 but unfortuantely i keep getting "HTTP Status 503 - Servlet NewFrontend is currently unavailable" errors. I don't really know what it means, but I'm certain that it is because of an Apache Helicopter or a Tomcat Fighter Jet - the F-14! The error is along the lines of Apache Tomcat/4.1.24, so that is what I base my assumptions on. It's the American Navy.

I did say 'firstly', so I guess you're waiting with baited breath for a 'secondly'. Sorry to dissapoint!

Number 2 on the list of why this is a cruel world, is because of the parents of the abandoned kids that we visit over the weekends. It's really sad that parents leave their kids sometimes withouth ever having seen their child - sad!

Finally and thirdly - is the De Larey song. It drives me nuts, wink wink!

My Girlfriend

Here is a picture of my girlfriend that I always mention - Baby, this is your moment of glory. I was kinda hoping to show her broken and beaten up toe - but I realised that some readers may be sensitive to that type of gore, snot and tears....

Exploding Calves

In my fight to become a world class athlete and win the Le Tour de France, I spent some time at the gym over the weekend. Anyone who has seen me wearing short pants, know how thin and frail my legs are. These people will tell me that I'm crazy to try to become a cyclist.

At the gym, overcome with enthusiasm, I overworked my calves. Today, I had to drag myself into the office with my arms. I'm in so much pain, I think that I'm going to the chemist to go and pop some voltaren.

Cheers for now.

Waiver of Cult Membership fee

To all who may have been interested in joining a cult, considered mine, then changed their minds due to the fact that I was asking for a monthly subscription fee, good news - the fee has now been dropped.

I was hoping to use the money to substitute my income - but that is no where near my target... in fact its still zero... tying in nicely with my blog viewership/readership numbers.

I have not been writing for awhile, give a guy a break for going down the road less traveled.

Taking up all applicants now - without a fee...

Become a Delonist - Follow the cult of Delonism!

Green Tea and Blue Pee

On a recent out of body experience, my mind wondered to the Himalayas where I met with the Dali Lama. I was very surprised at his plush and lavish lifestyle – one that would embarrass the Sultan of Brunei. ‘Dals’ as he’s more affectionately known, got one of his child labourers to make me some chai green tea with a hint of cinnamon and some lemon. Traveling through the ether solely with mind power can be quite tiresome, so the tea was most welcome.

As I was sipping my tea, there was a knock on the door – it was the Pope (the one who replaced John Paul II – and no one can remember his name). He came to ‘Dals’ seeking advice. Apparently he had upset some Muslims. Now ‘Dals’ did not take to this lightly. This Pope – lets call him Benny, was about to start some ‘sh** up in here’ and have a Jihad on his hands. So, ‘Dals’ presented him with two options – kinda like the options that Neo was presented by Morpheus.

The dialogue that followed was exactly this:

“You take the blue pill, the story ends here, you wake up and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill you stay in wonderland and I'll show you just how deep the rabbit hole goes.”

Suffice to say that Benny chose the blue pill and issued a public apology.

I returned to my physical body and proceeded to urinate a pale shade of blue…

The Occult

The Vision
In my quest for greatness, glory and recognition, I have decided to start my own cult. I have had a vision, brought upon me by the 'Prophets of the Ether' while I was browsing a Deepak Chopra book in the philosophy section of the bookstore, and foresee great power, wealth and greatness to all who follow me. I require a syndicate of followers who will be loyal to the cause and open to new ideas.

So, what is the cause?
The cult encourages creativity, intellectual stimulation, education and dedication.The cult does not look favourably upon dumb people or people who have never used the internet.

Requirements
We encourage free thinking, the willingness to learn, a level of litercay and also require you to join a library and pay monthly $1.00 subsriptions to me via bank transfer. Details will be provided upon joining.

Joining
Joining is done by clicking on 'Post Comment'. Join the cult, feel the enlightenment.

In the words of the cult - there is no knowledge that is not power...

(Evil laugh goes here)

Writing what I like

Writeres Block
I'm puzzled. For weeks I've been suffering with writers block. Often I find myslef struggling for interesting content, for content that other people would enjoy reading. And in this writing slum, comes the constant dissapointment when I receive my weekly web stats, and see that my readership is down (honestly though, its never been above 6 views on any day) or worse - nil!

The few loyal readers I've had have asked me to change the content, to move away from talking about technology too much or things that other people don't find interesting. 'I write what I like' but then no-one will read. I write what other people want to hear about any maybe, just maybe readership will improve - let's see how that goes?

Major Annoyance
I've been receiving spam mail from across the world. From Netherlands, India, Turkey and Poland to name just a millionth. Only recently have I started trying to determine where they come from. I'm like the HAM radio folks who plot a map of the origins of people they communicate with.

Night At the Pub
Last night my buddy and I decided to do the hectic night at the pub on a weekday night thing. Oooh, it was bad! My buddy and I were going well, drinks were flowing. The last drink was a very Long Island Ice Tea - woooo weeee. It did the trick. This was the one after having had it, you realise you shouldn't have had! I went to my girlfriends place thereafter, with drunken 'expectations.' All i got was to hug the toilet bowel. Not a pretty experience.

Due to the street lights being out in every part of the city today - I'm going home now. Hopefully it will be a pleasant experience.

The Online Gambler

As I sat upstairs, looking out my bedroom window, trying to draw inspiation from the moonless night sky, a fly buzzed around my head, so annoying, that I was hardly able to concentrate!

I recently installed some casino software on my PC. All the fun without the risk of losing real money - So far, I've taught myself to play Video Poker, Blackjack and Baccarat. I'm not the gambling type, so, this little suite of games suits me well. Growing up for several years as an only child (my brothers spawned from pumpkins later on), I was only used to playing Solitaire and Rubicks Cube.

I've been considering playing real gambling games online, but I don't have the courage, especially when considering that I'm practicalyl broke. Perhaps I'll try after someone gives me the tips to making big money on the internet.

Cloak and Daggger

Fisrtly, I just thought that I would mention that my exit from BCX draws closer. My manager just contacted me to schedule the exit interview, something I believe is customary when an employee decides to move. Tension mounts, with my colleagues, with my management and with myself.

My weekend was what i had hoped it would be, relaxing and nothing else. I got a chance to chill with my girlfriend, ride my bike and do all sorts of stuff that would consitute a lazy weekend. I watched a teen movie and slept.

Now, to the 'Cloak and Dagger' stuff. My friend whos name I'm not going to mention (due to certain legalities, legislations and what nots) was being the victim of hate mail. He or she (it's so damn secret, I can't say) was recieving the emails from someone who had claimed to be in the UK. After some forensic investigations, similar to what you may be used to if you watch CSI South Africa, it was determined that the purveyor of said 'hate email' was not in the UK, but in fact at a local site. Futher to this, the site of the criminal was also the person that 'friend' suspected it to be originating from. Mmmm, all very intersting methinks.

Well, writing that story just caused me imense amounts of confusion... Think I'm going out to get myself a berry smoothie.

Untitled until I find an interestingn title

Since its release I've wanted an Apple Ipod video. That has'nt happend, mostly cause I'm unable to afford it and I haven't been disciplined enough in my saving habits (or spending for that matter).

Now Apple are realesing the iPhone, I want one too, but i can't afford it. But if I calm down, take a deep breath, pick my nose, fart and then reflect - i remember that my entire CD collection consists of only 5 or so CD's. So whats the point, I ask myslef, of having maybe only 20 tracks on an ipod?

I don't like to do the whole bootleg-illegal-rob artists of their income-thing, so i listen to radio instead. It's free and it offers variety, though it doesn't always play my favourite tracks, in which case, I can just change the station. I grew up listening to East Cost Radio (www.ecr.co.za) and Metro FM (www.metrofm.co.za). I now listen to 5 fm (www.5fm.co.za), who offer greater music variety and 702 Talk Radio (www.702.co.za) for talk topics.

Altoghether I guess I'm pretty clued up with the latest music and current affairs.

Send me a link of a non South African radio station to listen to online and broaden my horizons.

Rather the devil you know, than the devil you don't!

Late last year I handed my resignation letter to my boss. My decision to resign had been an emotional one, but it had to be done - for reasons such as growth, knowledge, change and challenge. My grandfather, retired and old in his beliefs, advised me otherwise. He was the type of guy who had been in the same job for 25 years.

The devil that I'm moving from is Business Connexion. The devil that I'm moving to is Dimension Data. Both very big organizations here in South Africa.

My manager has been trying to get me to reconsider - A futile attempt, but don't tell him that I said that.

Anyways, these are exciting times. the doubt has passed and I look forward only to the new opportunities now.

A Post that is Banned is a Post worth reading

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